Enough
by Spnchick09
Summary: Interpretation and alternate ending to the scene where Martin first tells Ruthie of Sandy's pregnancy. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own 7th Heaven, or anything affiliated with it.

**Author's Note: **Okay, so I'm going way back here, but it's an idea that's always stuck in my head. Just a little interpretation of the scene with Martin and Ruthie, when she's told of Sandy's pregnancy. Honestly, it's ended up a little longer and different than I originally thought it would, but hey, I'm not a big fan of going back and completely rewriting something, or making major adjustments to it. So, some of the scene is similar to the episode, while most of it is my own imagination. Hope you enjoy. :)

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Tears brimmed in her eyes, a look of complete and utter confusion on her face. Her eyes, while filled with water, held a look of pure love for the man before her, yet hatred brewed there as well. How could he do this to her? He was the man she'd waited for, the man she'd planned to keep waiting for, and it dismayed her to think that he hadn't done the same.  
"I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed. Her fists pounded his chest, hoping to rid the demons that boiled there. He took her sudden beatings, with a look of remorse on his face, while his eyes slightly rolled as he tried to stop her.

"Ruth..." he stuttered, bringing his hands up to grab her fists.

She continued crying, attacking his chest with everything in her. Her hits were almost pointless, seeing as how her crying made her weaker, yet she kept hitting him. She'd do anything to boil away this hatred, even if it meant going after him with everything she had.

"I hate you!" she screamed a final time, as she was pulled into his chest.

Martin sighed, tears forming beneath his eyelids as well, as he rested his chin on her head. He knew that deep down, she was screaming, "How could you do this to me? Don't you know that all I've ever done is love you? I'm too young for this! You're scarred me for the rest of my life!"

And while all this was pouring out of her, Martin replied the only way he knew how.

"I hate me, too," he whispered, allowing a tear to fall atop her head.

He hated himself, just like she hated him at the moment. He was losing the only girl - woman, even - that he'd ever wanted. All because of one stupid mistake, his life was being turned upside down, and he hated it. It made him sick to think that he and Ruthie would never be able to have a successful relationship. And to know that it was all his fault made him boil with anger, regret, hatred, and fear.

She let her tears spill onto his shirt, not bothering to stop them. Even though she was cuddled into his embrace, ready to strike again at any moment, the comfort of his arms around her kept her calm, in an odd sense. A very odd sense.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered. "We can't be together, Ruthie. You know that," he said quietly, a slight muffle to his voice.

She felt the warmth of his breath on the top of her head, as another tear slid down her cheek.

"Why? Why can't we?" she whispered, despair and love evident in her tone.

"I'm about to be a father. You can't be tied down to a guy like that," he told her.

"But I love you," she whispered, pulling away slightly to look him in the eyes. "If we love each other, what's so wrong with it?" she asked.

"Ruthie, no matter how much love there is between us, there's a woman that's pregnant with my child in-between us, too. And as much as I hate that, I can't take it back. So I've got to man up and help. And I'm not willing to drag you along through that. I can't."

"Can't or won't?" she replied, a slight edge to her voice.

Martin's chin quivered. "Both," he replied, pulling her back into his chest.

The two stood in silence, just holding each other. This was as close as they would get to being together.

But it wasn't enough. She wanted him to hold her every day, to love her more than life itself, to be her one and only.

And he couldn't be. He couldn't hold her every day. He had a baby coming, and as much as it hurt the two to admit it, there wasn't any possible or realistic way the two would ever be together.

Martin looked up, seeing her family across the room. By the looks on their faces, they'd heard the conversation, but he didn't even regret it.

He pulled away again, and whispered, "I do love you. Don't forget that."

His hands cupped her cheeks, with his thumbs stroking her jaw line lightly. He hated seeing her like this, and knowing that the tears in her eyes, the confusion she was going through, and the pain that would last her for months had all been caused by him.

"I love you, too," she whispered. "But none of that matters now, does it?" she countered, sniffling.

Martin sighed, wiping a tear away from her eye with his thumb. His eyes were filled with tears themselves, and he kissed her forehead. "No. It doesn't," he honestly replied.

"Love sucks," she whispered.

Martin chuckled lightly, in spite of the negative energy in the room. "Yeah. Especially when it's as strong as this."

She tilted her head upwards, noticing the light brushing motion of his thumbs against her cheeks. "Take me somewhere. Please," she whispered, closing her eyes.

Martin looked towards Eric, who motioned to the backyard. Martin nodded, and took Ruthie's hand, leading her outside.

The two were alone in the backyard for a moment without words, just enjoying the embrace they were in. And then, out of nowhere, Martin's head tilted left, as did Ruthie's, and their lips met, and a warm, sensual kiss followed. Even through that, however, - the comfort, lust, love, passion that was in the kiss - there was sadness. Anger. Desperation. Remorse. Fear of the unknown. Wishes and hopes became evident through the kiss between them as it grew deeper.

Their kiss became heated, as he quickly dropped with her to the ground and dragged her into his lap. He could feel the tears from her face hit his, and knew she felt his tears upon her skin, as well. If only it didn't have to be like this.

When they slowly pulled away, he had to do everything in his power not to drive off with her. He wanted to take her somewhere where they could be together, and not worry about Sandy, or the soon arrival of his first child.

"I want to be with you more than anything," Ruthie whispered.

Martin sighed, putting his arm around her waist as she rested her head on his shoulder. "You have no idea, Ruth."

"I love you. I always will."

"I love you, too. And I'll never stop," he replied, kissing her forehead.

The two sat on the ground for what seemed to be hours, but when they finally walked back inside, they realized the small amount of time that they'd spent together outside wasn't enough.

It would never be enough.

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So that's it. :) I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always welcomed...bad or good. :)


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